Dressing to the Twos

They say that when you find "The Dress" you just know it.  You won't want to take it off.  For me, I just need to get past the panic attacks of getting one on.

I began shopping for wedding dresses backwards.  I started in the couture stores (unknowingly) and then scaled back.  It was a drastic mistake.

Today I went to David's Bridal, where I should have gone in the first place.  I have heard either fabulous stories or awful ones out of this discounted store.  My mom and I began by having to register.  Apparently there was a sale going on so the wait was long before you got a chance to work with a "wedding coordinator."  I use this term lightly as they were all females, aged 18-21, in belly tees (with large bellies) and stacked heels.  As we waited, we were instructed to go through the book (not the racks) and turn down the corners on the pages with the dresses I wanted to try on.  We ignored them and began to go through the racks.  My mother cringed when she felt the fabric.  Taffeta vs. silk, tulle vs. organza, lace that looks worse than the neighborhood little old lady's curtains.  Believe me, there is a difference.  However, we both took our tarnished silver spoons out of our mouths and put on a new attitude.

We sat on the bad teal leather couches in front of the mirrored doors/dressing rooms and flourescent lighting.  Brides-to-be pranced around in the dresses as the coordinators placed ribboned veils and tiaras on their heads...most of the time, both, at the same time.  Not my choice of style, but whatever.  The brides were all a good 6-10 years younger than I was, most had tatoos on their shoulders (ever so elegant with a strapless dress), and a few had mothers in either cowboy hats or missing teeth.  We sat there for about 45 minutes watching the costume changes and offering our Statler and Waldorf impressions from the peanut gallery.  There were some good dresses for some of the brides, I will say that.  However, they were all barely 21, a size 2, and looked like they swapped a prom dress for a wedding gown.

As our time drew closer, my Mom and I began to re-evaluate our motives.  We finally decided that our time would be better spent doing taxes or budget reports.  The best thing about the day?  How close it was to Costco so I could get some gas.