Yesterday I attended my first system wide management meeting. They hold these monthly and I'm actually pretty used to going to these as I had them back in SLC at my old job.
Typically this is the meeting where big HR initiatives are given a sneak preview to the management along with "talking points" on how to really paint the picture of an opportunity, not a challenge. For instance, when you are telling staff that their insurance premiums are going up you can phrase it like they are getting an opportunity to further invest in their personal health. I wish I were kidding. Other things they cover is budget, patient care initiatives, strategic plans, and regulatory processes.
The best part of these meetings is the food. Typically, they feed you. One of the bonuses of being senior leadership. Its not really catered with a full meal, but back in Salt Lake I was always happy to see the carafe of Starbucks coffee, warm doughnuts, real milk, juice, and tea. I'd get my provisions, exchange niceties with folks and then settle into my comfy chair in the auditorium to then listen to a very well run meeting by the COO.
Given my small but recent past with this organization I knew not to hold my expectations too high. I was surprised to see some snacks actually provided. Chex mix and what looked to be a vat with a spigot labeled, "coffee" on the masking tape. There were also non-dairy powdered milk and crusty sugar packets. I passed the all so tempting snacks. I entered the very dim large auditorium which really made my high school auditorium look state of the art and went to pick my seat. It took me 2 times before I found one that wasn't broken. As I settled into my dingy green chair with springs very palpable, I noticed that the auditorium was really filled. For a company with only 3000 employees, they seemed to have had about 150 there. Its like they couldn't decide who was appropriate for the meeting. Turns out that everyone from directors to managers to coordinators to supervisors were included. With so many people, it was hard to maintain control of the group and multiple side conversations took off. The sign in sheet was a clipboard with a mylar smiley face balloon attached to it being passed from person to person. I was surprised to see the interim CNO/mental health CEO nurse run the show. Well, attempt to run the show. Where was the COO/CEO? We sat around for 10 minutes trying to do positive stories in patient care. I then heard how it is going to take 2 years for the chaplains program to complete a religious library and survey the staff needs. 2 years??? In the end, we never made it through the agenda and went over time. How in the world does this happen?
Perhaps my expectations are too high. I realize I can't compare apples with pomegranates, but holy cow! I find that the simplest things I ask about become the largest discussion without resolution. The other day I asked what the standard was on documenting disciplinary actions. This landed me in a philosophical debate about how corrective action works in a recovery model. I don't freakin care! Just give me the policy and forms and I'll make it happen!
I'm also finding that all of my meetings with mental health people turn into a therapy session. There is a lot of reframing, summarizing, and then asking how you feel about things. Nothing gets done. Am I one of those people? Good God do I miss the days when I had the no social skills medical staff. How long am I going to survive in this system?
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