Tuesday, November 7, 2006

Just When You Thought Utah Was Bad...

Everytime one of my friends from graduate school came to visit me out West the inevitable topic of Utah's backwards liquor laws came up.  Private membership what?  A sidecar really isn't a drink with brandy but an extra shot?  What do you mean I have to finish one drink before I can order another?  These are all typical questions that get asked.

When the Olympics debuted, the legislature acutally wisened up to the sound of cash pouring in vs. the word of wisdom and revised some of the laws.  Note:  some.  I really couldn't specify which ones,  but I do remember one drunk evening at the Zephyr with my brother being interviewed (drunk) by some foreign correspondent on camera.  Liquor laws were such a hot topic, they actually did a feature on the issue. 

I was so confused in my drunken state that I'm not certain if I actually looked at the interviewer or directly at the camera when answering his questions, which at the time I thought I was eloquent I'm sure.  Looking at the camera seems to be rather lame looking directly into the lens, but that's probably what I did after a few vodka tonics....I also thought I was a hot dancer and was also captured on film.  So now, somewhere in a European country visions of my terrible booty shaking, hips don't lie, I'm too sexy disco inferno, I live on tape in some back room of a video production house...or if I'm lucky, somewhere on the cutting room floor.

At any rate, I thought that once I left the State of Utah, life as an imbibing citizen would improve.  I was so quick to jump and count my chickens before they hatched.  It is true that you can buy alcohol in supermarkets and other locations that are not State owned in Indiana, however I was quite shocked and disappointed when I learned that buying liquor on Sundays is illegal.  Hell, even in Utah you could buy beer in the grocery store on the day of rest.

Today, though, took the cake.  I recieved an email from one of the local gourmet restaurants that advised me that they were canceling their wine pairing dinner tonight.  Not that I was going, but I questioned the reason why.  I read on to find that in Indiana it is illegal to sell alcohol on election days until after the polls officially close.  Are you freaking kidding me???  How else are the losers going to soothe their defeat or the citizens toast the end of the mud slinging commercials? 

Yes, my friends, in Utah the Democrats at least can sip their vino post voting.

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