And You Wonder Why My Biggest Fear is Fire

A recent conversation at a local Starbucks enjoying eggnog lattes:

"So if we order the Christmas tree from Costco, it will arrive on the 12th and we can enjoy it until we head to Utah." 

"Ok. But we have to take it down before we leave.  Otherwise its a fire hazard."

An eyebrow raises, "Explain that.  This is why we unplug the lights."

"Yes, but Christmas trees can spontaneously implode and burn up.  I don't want our house to burn down while we are gone."

A smile begins to spread, "Again, Al, this is why we unplug the lights.  No electrical source."

"But this is what my parents told me when I was little.  The tree is drying up and can catch on fire easier."  Even as the words were coming out of my mouth, they sounded ridiculous.

"Uh huh.  Its already dead the minute it is cut down."

"But it takes up water."

"Yeah, not because its alive.  Its osmosis.  So your argument is that the tree is dead and drying up therefore it can spontaneously combust and cause a fire eventhough it doesn't have any electrical source going to it."

"Well, again, this is what my parents told me."

"Wait, Al, let me not freak you out or anything, but we have 2x4's in the walls everywhere in the house.  We have wooden furniture.  They could combust any second!"  The sarcasm and teasing were dripping and his smile was wide.

"Huh. I can't believe I thought it was true for 31 years of my life."