For Sale: False Icons of Happiness

There is nothing more frustrating than finances.  I have always had my self-worth wrapped up in my bank account balance.  No wonder people always say they want to win the lottery.  But here's the reality:  the bigger the account, the bigger the expenses become, and you are right back where you start.

I watched my Father do the whole yuppie thing.  He built a house on a mountain with a commissioned architect, drove the luxury cars, bought a powerful recreational boat, did the country club membership, and went to several social events.  I've never seen a man so unhappy to be that successful.  He was on a treadmill that never slowed down, not because he was trying to obtain more, but because he was afraid he would lose it all.

Recently I bought my staff the book, What Happy People Know.  If you haven't read it, I suggest it highly.  The majority of my staff read it as though it were a medical journal article and tore it to bits due to its simplicity.  What I thought is the funniest part is that they completely missed the point. 

Dr. Dan Baker sites 5 things that people chase because they think it will bring happiness.

1.  A life of leisure.  Perhaps.  But what is the meaning of the existence?  One of the best gifts is to help someone feel a sense of purpose.  It can be done just by allowing others to help you.  They feel they made a difference.  Leisure doesn't exactly provide this purpose.

2.  Status.  How many famous people do you know who just can't wait to get in front of the cameras to air their personal lives?  Status generally equals fame.  With fame comes a loss of privacy control.  Besides fame is like looks:  there will always be someone higher or prettier than you are and someone who is less so.

3.  Possessions.  Oh yeah, let me tell you how many people on their deathbeds cry out to see their BMW or silver tea set.  None.  They recall their relationships.

4.  Financial security.  Ok, I'll admit it.  I thought this one was a shoo in for me.  If you think about it, security is a myth.  There is not one of us who can 100% guarantee safety.  It doesn't exist.

5.  Worldly power.  Remember the saying, "Its lonely at the top"?  Power just equals more obligations.  People who run their own lives don't need to run others'. 

Other falsehoods that people think are magic cures for unhappiness:  trying to resolve the past, compensating for weaknesses, and trying to force happiness.  Instead, remember the wisdom of your past mistakes and move forward, focus and develop your strengths, and realize that in life's natural balance one must feel the full range of emotions.  This is a great philosophy to run a buisness with incredible human capital.  I'm telling you, this is a fabulous book.

So in the end, although I'll be eating mac and cheese for the next two weeks, I need to remember the positives (vs. my negative cash flow).  It will be a challenge and an opportunity to live life frugally.  (See, its all in how you reframe things.)   The reality is this:  in two weeks some magic figures will appear in my checking account only to match the bills in my mailbox.   Emotions, like money, just recycle.